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silence [Sep. 24th, 2013|06:59 pm]
no, i am done with this silence, the time has come. the bars have rusted from the rain, the metal has grown like a plant in my cell. the birds taunt my existence. tonight i will breakout and i dont think i have the voice to express my joy, it is visceral and its origins dwell in the region of my heart, the same place you had your first crush and first heartbreak. tonight is the night. goodbye cell, hello world.
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updates [Jan. 30th, 2013|11:09 am]
lots of updates...
past few weeks rachael and i have had a lot of fun..saw a dubstep/dj type show at the wescott theatre saturday and got food next door at alto cincos...GF quesidillas....

things are picking up at my gym, we are moving to a new and very large space and teaming up with another guy from syracuse. were having a meeting about everything on saturday

i make kombucha and kefir now, both are turning out great. the kombucha takes awhile to make and i have some friends that want to start buying off of me. this sounds redic. but i legitamately want to turn this into a business, i think it would take off since people spend $4 a pint for stuff that's not that special.

having a lot of fun coaching crossfit and training at island, i keep evolving as any trainer should, a lot of new info from Kefir on workouts and esp. diet. read his carb back loading book and its incredible. love the diet and the science behind it.

palisade is asking me to continue their wellness program so im going to be an independent contractor again if things pan out in 2013

kyle just got back from mt. Kilimanjaro

i need to travel and go somewhere this year, but even though im working a ton things are really good and better than ever.

coffee is better when you grind your own coffee beans

nicotine gum is the shit

l-leucine + creatine + whey + caffeine = results in the gym

275lbs bench press last month PR

o-lifing with tom, refining my lifting once again and getting out of bad habits, hopefully see a 200lbs PR with the snatch...well see

i am making a habit of reading/watching/learning new posts and videos like ted talks and crossfit videos, staying up on training podcasts.

i got an ipad, its great for skype, new cover coming in the mail.

i just need to get my thoughts out on here, i hate doing something and then forgetting i ever did it, writing makes the memories more permanent and gives me something to reflect back on.

rachaels show last friday was great, shes an excellent singer and her group did well. they preformed at the springside inn which is an old nice building in auburn. my parents and grandma went. we met some cool adults at our table who were very funny. the after party was ok but the adults in the room kept sizing me up and trying to pick on me, they were in that mood where they want everyone to hear them say something to somebody so they can get attention and feel like theyre funny. fuck all of you you're not special.

my boxing coach primo has left. last night was the last time i might ever see him. its very sad. he was a great coach, one of the best coaches and one of the best fighters i have had instruct me. i have learned so much and have become such a better fighter because of him.

went home over the weekend -- rachael and the pig got along pretty well. gotta get my family to exercise, it sounds stupid but its my mission.

i dont know what else to say right now, ill be back soon hopefully
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(no subject) [Nov. 1st, 2012|10:09 pm]
notes to self...

looking at houses with rachael has been fun

going to the play 1776 on sunday with her

teaching nikkis class tomorrow

looking at pictures of matt and ians careers strength training makes me want to be a S&C coach full time

thinking about where to vacation

taking alex to court soon

sparred in muay thai tonight, need to do it more often, get used to it, hopefully pat can also work with me at island

crossfit is going well were almost at our break even point.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2012|09:58 pm]
had a really powerful dream the other night about someone. not someone you would immediately think of. she visited and i was a tour guide of sorts. it felt more like a romantic type dream with the excitement and suspense. im going crazy. i want to do something big (thoughts: make the gym happen, get a real mma fight and train for it/document it or train for some ridiculous number on deadlifts/squat/bench and document my training on a blog.) should i be drinking wine everynight? probably. ive got a lot of time to make up for that i was on accutane for. i need to write a lot more posts like this to get thoughts out. on my mind: white water rafting, paintball, more obstacle course races, supplements, shooting guns, riding motorcycles, learning how to build shit, quitting ciao, meditation, girl(s), fighting, training, etc.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2012|09:41 pm]
i toss and turn restless, the epicenter of my thoughts gather information in and ping pong it back outside to see what sticks. sonar. i don't know anything. i am lying down in the rain facing the sky. the rain hits my face and i try not to flinch, i try to melt into the scenery. air swirls from the heat released of hot rocks remind me of ghosts.
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(no subject) [Jun. 10th, 2012|11:28 am]
meditated before i went to bed and this happened:
dream last night: i was a new landlord and owned a building filled with rats, cats, and xboxes. there were perisan rugs that were so worn in they were shredded. when i entered the building i realized i already sort of had tenants. there were 4 people playing x-box and hanging around, one of them was a korean girl who had 4 korean oranges that tasted like candy. i asked if i could have more th...an one piece and she said no because she had to ask someone to smuggle them in from korea. i told the people who were squatting/possibly paying me rent that i was going to fix the place up, they just nodded and said ok. on top of the deplorable coniditons, there was an EPA officer looking for where the diesel fuel spill had leaked and i looked around and it was draining by the house. he asked me why i was there and said it was infested with rats and you couldn't pay him to ever go inside my house. a white cat scratched my face then my boxing coach appeared and started talking to me.

really awesome sleep.

gotta stop being so stressed out and accept current situations.

im single

this is a good thing

listless, cleaning everything.

ciao will be a good thing tonight to go to and work the kinks out.
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(no subject) [May. 31st, 2012|12:02 am]
Friday: went to fillmore st. glen and had a good time with rachael, then had a bonfire at her house and watched her sister drink 5 glasses of charaz and her husband operate an excavator and pull rocks out of the ground

Saturday: i don't remember what happened this day in a non-joking way

Sunday:  read up on a ton of stuff while at work, native Americans, training stuff, owning a gym

Monday: ciao wine tour with rachael, was really awesome, did not get as drunk as i thought, a lot of sweet wines but overall really great experience, really makes me want to own a winery or be a part of it at some level.  lots of pictures...went to lisas pool party afterward, was a sort of default captain of kickball, swam, ate some salad, talked, got someone out of a fight, went home, recovered, had a good night, work up at 4:30 to go to work.(ugh!).  had some thoughts at work about writing a how-to book about opening a gym as it happens to myself...had a dream about a girl in a blue shirt and flying
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updatez [Mar. 13th, 2012|11:37 pm]
i would like to plan a scuba diving adventure after discussing scuba diving with a member of the gym i work at. taking tribulus, feel good. it increases libido and makes you feel like you were in high school again. i noticed the medicine i am taking / work have depressed my ambition to do pretty much anything when i get home. call of duty 3 is very addicting but i think important in me finding some moments to myself and clearing my head. i had a olympic lifting meet on saturday and got PR's in the snatch (145) and clean and jerk (220). I got 220 before but this 220 is my new PR because it was def a legit jerk and competition legal. i also got a PR in the clean because i cleaned 225 (power cleaned that is) before dropping it.

finishing accutane but i keep skipping doses because it makes my muscles achey in the morning and drys my lips/eyes out. not going to be able to participate in any heavy drinking this saturday. its been 6 months since i have had more than 1 drink, and i have only had about 3 drinks in that past 6 months. basically just sipping something here and there to taste it when i go out and limiting myself to that. people dont understand when you don't drink unless you tell them youre "4 months sober" in which they shutter, pause, check for signs of joking, then say sorry. If they think youre joking they say come on!!! i can cite the fact that i cannot drink while taking accutane, even for 1 month after because the damage it does to your liver...i keep it short and sweet and tell people "i will die if i drink" and that usually quiets them. i can imagine how difficult it must be for people that don't drink to be around other people that do. i have experienced this quite a few times in college when i was trying to be "responsible." i think its harder to tell someone no when they already know that you have done, or sometimes like to do whatever (drink/smoke/whatever). id love to smoke more often but rarely am around people who do this and honestly i prefer to use it to make movies more interesting and its not my daily thing. back in the archeology days it was way more fun to do, but those days were much more simple. no planning except for lunch the next day and what you wanted to do on the weekend. im in a good place right now but a lot of stuff just annoys me (people not paying rent, not doing dishes, dirty shoes, not taking time to read before bed, blogging about workouts late when i have to get up early). its 100x better than it was last year, and i DO like my apartment, but i want to get a system down a little better day to day and finish organizing my apartment, finish a few books, and definitely read through my back issues of mens health. i had a lot of momentum at the start of this year and ive been hitting goals of doing what i intended to do. i would love if some of my friends would visit. its difficult to go anywhere when youu dont have any days off. the only downside is i cant travel without switching things around weeks in advance but right now i need to work a good amount to support myself. i want to plan some camping trips and possibly a road trip maybe to visit tyler in maine? maybe go to the beach? any ideas?
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(no subject) [Feb. 22nd, 2012|11:19 pm]
modern warfare 3
corporate training going well
biggest loser
island extreme
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(no subject) [Feb. 16th, 2012|10:07 pm]
teaching crossfit classes, rachael lost her job, big picture because of her leg injury, but pursuing some justice with this (vague). she got offered a lot of positions already that has to do with music and youth so thats good. biggest loser, training lots of clients, really friggin stressed out and overworked. even down time goes to clients and my own training. competing in a competition march 10th in olympic lifting in elmira. want to get more into elite S&C, making good contacts with that. having fun...mandatory eclipses of fun now and then so im told to not work too much. need to meditate again.
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